Waiting in the Blank

Psalm 13 is a member of the frequently-occurring category of psalm - the lament. Though only six verses, it features all the things found in laments that make us uneasy. It is a no-holds-barred prayer in which the psalmist affixes blame for his dire situation with God. In two verses, the psalmist levels four straight questions at God, all starting the same way: “How long?” It is an emphatic, even impolite, series of questions.

Old Testament scholar Walter Brueggemann warns against jumping to conclusions. Only to an outsider does this illustrate a failure of faith. On the contrary, it is, as Brueggemann writes, bold faith. Bold faith insists on presenting reality as it is experienced. It refuses to give a polite, edited-for-TV version. Prayers that arise from a contrived faith settle for a contrived god, a god who can’t handle the truth. Laments refuse to settle. They seek God and nothing less. Thus the jarring language.

If the first four verses of Psalm 13 are jarring for their boldness, the last two are jarring for their rejoicing. Like many laments, this psalm takes a 180-degree turn. “But I trust in your unfailing love,” writes the psalmist. “My heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord's name, for he has been good to me” (TNIV).

All attempts to explain this about-face are conjecture. But I would suggest we note something. Between the last line of verse four and the first of verse five, note the horizontal strip of blank, white page. For those of you without Bibles handy, it kind of looks like this:



Now granted, blank strips like this appear hundreds of times in the psalms, separating hundreds of verses. On the surface, this one is no different.

However, I wonder how much time is tucked into that blank strip. Obviously things changed for the psalmist between verses four and five. How long did it take for that change to come? Before the rejoicing began? How many days passed in which verses one through four were the extent of his prayer and beyond that was just an unbounded blank? Maybe that blank space covers months. Maybe it took years before the joyous change in his situation compelled the psalmist to compose those final lines.

We don’t know. Even as these laments ask “How long?” over and over, they seem dead set against giving specifics. They give us only blank spaces. At the same time, this psalm is showing us how to live inside those blank spaces - wide, narrow or in-between. What do we do? We wait. We wait on God. Whether we wait patiently depends on what we mean by “patient.” We are patient in the sense that we refuse to give up on God and settle for second-rate alternatives. In other words, we refuse to dull the pain of blankness with alcohol or mindless entertainment. We refuse to simply distract ourselves with busyness. We don’t want to be numb (despite its appeal); we want what the alternatives can’t deliver: rejoicing. So we endure the blank.

Not that we like it. The blank always sucks. But here’s where the laments prove helpful. Their purpose is not to put us at ease with emptiness and the absence of God. (If anything, they increase our discontent.) Their purpose is, first of all, to give us permission to speak honestly with God about that discontent, even if it’s at the expense of politeness. Second, they remind us that the blank always comes to an end. God comes.

The question is simply a matter of how long. (How long? How long, O Lord? How long?)

Jesus himself gives us an example of faith that, rather than avoiding the blanks, endures them. As he agonized on the cross, on the precipice of the great blank space of death, he cried out in lament, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Psalm 22). To link our faith to his is, again, simply to trust the blank is not infinite. We wait, looking again and again to Jesus’ resurrection. It is in the resurrection that Jesus binds the blank spaces, puts them under his authority and assigns their limits.

In the resurrection, faith finds boldness and hope in rejoicing.

-Mark Roeda (found on relevantmagazine.com)

Be Still, My Soul

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, be leaving, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.

-Ka­tha­ri­na A. von Schlegel

Let the Heart Cry Louder than Emotion

God,
It seems like now is one of those moments where everything seems so big that I need to just be still and know that You are God. How can I possibly watch over everything? No matter how much I could try I know I would still fall short of living right in at least one way. Sometimes I wish that I could have it all together for even five minutes. What a beautiful way to draw me close! Not just for a moment but for a lifetime. I keep asking for the gain, the rewards, the growth, and the intimacy with You, and I keep getting trials, tests, dissatisfaction, and pain. And now I realize the beauty of it all. All of the hardships You have placed in my life are designed to make me run to You. I keep having to draw nearer and nearer still just to "do ok" in life, and now I realize that You are answering my prayers. Lord, don't stop! Continue to challenge me and test me and try me! Refine me with the hottest of flames! Though it be more difficult than anything I will ever experience, take me through it...to purify me, to cause growth in me, to strengthen me, to make more like You, to draw me closer in relationship to You, to know and understand Your heart better. I know that You will carry me through every circumstance that You place in my path. For You are a God who leads His people into difficult places...but You go with them. Just as You lead the Israelites to the edge of the Red Sea and seeming death only to have them walk through it with a wall of water on the left and the right. Just as You let Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendego enter into the fiery furnace only to endure the heat with them and bring them out entirely unscathed. And now pondering who You are is giving me that too big for the mind feeling again. I must simply be still and know that You are...God.

Knowing You

All I once held dear, built my life upon

All this world reveres, and wars to own

All I once thought gain, I have counted loss

Spent and worthless now, compared to this

Knowing you, Jesus, knowing you

There is no greater thing

You're my all, you're the best

You're my joy, my righteousness

And I love you Lord

Now my heart's desire, is to know you more

To be found in you, and known as yours

To possess by faith, what I could not earn

All surpassing gift, of righteousness

Knowing you, Jesus, knowing you

There is no greater thing

You're my all, you're the best

You're my joy, my righteousness

And I love you Lord

Oh to know the power of your risen life

And to know you in your sufferings

To become like you in your death my Lord

So with you to live and never die

Knowing you, Jesus, knowing you

There is no greater thing

You're my all, you're the best

You're my joy, my righteousness

And I love you Lord

“Bring Forth the Royal Diadem, and Crown Him Lord of All”

Today I was reading from a book called “The Pursuit of the Holy” by J. Oswald Sanders, and I was really struck by an illustration that he used. The chapter I was reading was dealing with the Lordship of Christ, a term that I’ve heard many times before but never really understood. Sanders deeply challenges his readers to examine their hearts to determine whether Christ is in fact the Lord of their lives.

It’s so easy to put Christ on the throne of our lives in one moment and then replace Him with something or someone in the next. Christ is in fact Lord of all. He has a right to the throne of our lives and our hearts, and doubly so because of His sacrifice on the cross. Both who He is and what He has done demand the position of King, the position of Lord in our lives.

I was challenged to think again about what it means to call Jesus my Lord. I think Christians get so used to throwing that word around that they often forget its meaning. To call Him Lord is to say that you have surrendered everything to Him. To call Him Lord is to acknowledge both His salvation unto us and His continuing sovereignty over us. I can honestly say that I have loosely called Him Lord on many occasions when I wasn’t giving Him that place in my heart.

To bow down and humble yourself before God and submit to Him as Lord of your life is an ongoing battle. It’s a battle to be willing to do this and then a battle to succeed in doing this. It’s also scary too. The thought of losing control and giving everything to God is incredibly terrifying. However, His Word says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Pr. 3:5-6)

With the wonderful promise of a straight path before us, we can trust God as the Lord of our lives. In his book, Sanders tells an awesome story that brings this truth to life:

“The organist in a village in Germany was playing some music of Mendelssohn, and was not playing it very well. A stranger, hearing the music, crept into the church and sat in the dimness of the back pew, where he heard the imperfections of the organist’s performance. When he ceased playing and prepared to depart, the stranger said, “Sir, would you allow me to play the organ for a little while?”

“Certainly not,” was the surly answer. “I never allow anyone to touch the organ but myself.”

“I should be so grateful if you would give me the privilege,” persisted the stranger.

Again he met with gruff refusal. The third time his appeal was allowed, but most ungraciously.

The stranger sat down, adjusted the stops, and began to play the same piece, but with what a difference. It seemed as if the whole church was filled with heavenly music.

The organist looked askance and asked, “Who are you?”

Modestly the stranger replied, “I am Mendelssohn.”

“What,” cried the organist in deep mortification, “did I refuse you to play on my organ?”

That is what we do with Christ when we refuse Him the opportunity to take the instrument of our redeemed personalities, and bring out the harmonies of heaven.”

Wow! Isn’t that awesome?! What a difference it makes when we let the creator of humanity itself be the Lord of our lives. This week, I would encourage you to join me in reflecting upon these questions: Do I have the desire to submit to Christ’s supreme Lordship over me? Am I letting Christ take His rightful throne as the Lord of my life? Am I succeeding in keeping Christ on the throne of my life and everything else off of the throne from moment to moment? May God challenge you through this and bring you to a deeper understanding of yourself and of Him.

Re-Examining Idolatry

Today as I read for my devotions I came across the story of the golden calf in Exodus 32. This chapter tells the story of how the Israelites and Aaron melted down all the gold jewelry of the people and carved it into a golden calf. After fashioning an idol they began to worship it. All the while Moses is up on the mountain receiving the stone tablets of the law. Isn’t it ironic that he’s receiving the law while the Israelites are breaking it? As I read Erwin Lutzer’s take on the chapter in His book “Getting Closer To God”, I found a heavy conviction setting in. I was surprised to look at this passage from the new perspective that Lutzer suggests:

“We are all idol lovers. Left to ourselves, we drift toward idolatry; we all want to create gods who are according to our liking. Let’s not read this story as if it were ancient history. This is a diagnosis of the human heart. When we see the Israelites at the base of the mountain, we see ourselves.”

Wow! I never would have compared myself to the Israelites who cried out for an idol to worship that day. After all, I’ve never crafted any little buddhas or incan faces out of stone or gold. However, an idol isn’t just a little figure that we worship. It can be anything that takes God’s rightful place in our lives. C.S. Lewis defines an idol as our “overwhelming first.” In other words, our idol is whatever or whoever overwhelms our thoughts and our desires. Though today we may be guilty of idolatry in the mind, we exhibit the same hearts as the Israelites did when they worshipped the calf.

I began to realize that I still have idolatry issues in my life! Getting past this is not just a one time deal-with-it kind of thing. It’s more like keeping the weeds off your lawn. New ones keep sprouting and you have to keep pulling them, one at a time.

Lutzer very simply states that “[i]dentifying our idols is quite easy. We must ask two questions: What do we think about in our spare time? And, whom do we wish to please?”

Yikes! After asking myself those two questions I realized that there were several answers that weren’t what they should be. I realize now that many times I have let friendships and other people become my “overwhelming first”, and even more so…myself. How many times have I played video games excessively just to entertain and please myself? How many times have I wanted to talk to or spend time with my friends just to feel better? As if they can meet my needs. Lutzer puts it beautifully saying, “[w]hen God is silent and appears indifferent to our needs, a climate is created where idolatry flourishes.” I can honestly say that I have been unfaithful many times when God has let the climate occur and as it says, idolatry has flourished in my life.

But the most important part out of all of this is how we can remove those idols and restore God to the “overwhelming first” in our lives. To do this we must repent. When God shows us our idols we need to name them to Him, one by one. We need to ask God for help to destroy idolatry as it takes root in our lives.

“The dearest idol I have known,

What e’er that idol be,

Help me to snatch it from the throne

And worship only Thee.”

“If we are repentant of our idolatry, God will help us.”

Being Spirtually Disciplined

In my devotional time today I came across an awesome chunk of writing that really meant a lot to me. Over this past week I have fought so hard to keep a focus on God throughout my days without a quiet time at the beginning of my day. It’s very difficult to get up early before and after a 12 hour day of landscaping to just be with God. But I know that it’s something that I need to do. As Moses journeyed up the mountain path to enter the very presence of God in the book of Exodus, I need to press on no matter how rocky and difficult that path is. For, there is nothing greater than knowing Christ Jesus our Lord. This is the reason that Paul counted all things as loss. Jesus said that knowing Him is eternal life. Let’s encourage and pray for one another as we seek to have that quiet time alone with God every morning.

“I met God in the morning when the day was at its best

And His presence came like a sunrise, like a glory in my breast.

All day long His presence lingered, all day long He stayed with me

I sailed in perfect calmness o’er a troubled sea.

Other ships were blown and battered, other ships were sore distressed

But the winds that seemed to drive them, brought to me a perfect rest.

Then I thought of other mornings, with a keen remorse in mind

When I too had loosed the moorings with His presence left behind.

So I think I know the secret learned from many a troubled way

You must seek Him in the morning if you want Him through the day.”

- Author Unknown

The Advice of Andrew Murray

In the time of trouble say, “First, He brought me here. It is by His will I am in this strait place; in that I will rest.” Next, “He will keep me here in His love, and give me grace in this trial to behave as His child.” Then say, “He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me lessons He intends me to learn, and working in me the grace He means to bestow.” And last, say, “In His good time He can bring me out again. How and when He knows.”

Therefore say, “I am here by (1) God’s appointment (2) in His keeping, (3) under His training and (4) for His time” (Michael Green, ed., Illustrations for Biblical Preaching [Grand Rapids: Baker, 1989], 388).

Thinking about God

Spend some time today simply thinking about God and who He is.

Sovereign Lord
The compassionate and gracious God
The eternal God
The consuming fire
The exalted God
The faithful God
The glorious Father
The Glory of Israel
The God who saves me
The God who sees me
The living Father
The Majestic Glory
The Majesty in heaven
The One who sustains me
The only God
The Potter
THe Rock in whom I take refuge
The Spring of living water
The strength of my heart
The true God
He who hears prayer
He who tests the heart and mind
He who keeps His covenant of love

Pastor in the Penalty Box

Recently I have been using a book entitled Getting Closer to God by Erwin Lutzer for my devotional time. I have been really blessed by the steps to intimacy with God that the book suggests based on the life of Moses. In the very first chapter, Lutzer talks about a pastor who destroyed his career after falling into the sin of immorality. He went from being a pastor to a church drop out in 60 seconds. Though the man was qualified to serve God in tremendous ways, he struggled even to get back to the position of Sunday School teacher in another church. The man felt like he would have to spend the rest of his life "in the penalty box". After three years, the man sent this letter to Erwin Lutzer:

"I am writing to testify of the marvelous grace of God. I've learned many lessons in my desert - my penalty box - but God has used my pain to bring me lovingly, mercifully to Him.
Just when I thought I was hopeless, God revealed my sin and self-centeredness that was my sad condition before Him. He stripped me of my pretensions and showed me my unbelief. I learned that God cannot simply be one of my options, but I must risk my life, my soul, my sanity on Him, and Him only. I must believe that He is exactly who He says He is in His Word. When I was most bankrupt, He gave me the strength to forsake all and follow Christ.
Before, my focus was always on me: my happiness, my circumstances, my emotions. Now, it is on God. As a byproduct of focusing on Him, His joy is alive in me. Though tough circumstances still have their sting. I can cast my care on Him and He gives me 'His exceeding great and precious promises.'
It strikes me that these are admonitions I have heard for years, but it is the doing of them that makes all the difference.
During my desert times, false cults and false brethren would offer a way that seemed right, but would cast doubt upon the Word of God. Yet, I found victory by fully committing myself to God. Thank God I'm out of the penalty box and back in the game. "

Wow! What a story! There's so much in there I don't know where to start! What sticks out to you?