Saturday, July 15, 2006

Let the Heart Cry Louder than Emotion

God,
It seems like now is one of those moments where everything seems so big that I need to just be still and know that You are God. How can I possibly watch over everything? No matter how much I could try I know I would still fall short of living right in at least one way. Sometimes I wish that I could have it all together for even five minutes. What a beautiful way to draw me close! Not just for a moment but for a lifetime. I keep asking for the gain, the rewards, the growth, and the intimacy with You, and I keep getting trials, tests, dissatisfaction, and pain. And now I realize the beauty of it all. All of the hardships You have placed in my life are designed to make me run to You. I keep having to draw nearer and nearer still just to "do ok" in life, and now I realize that You are answering my prayers. Lord, don't stop! Continue to challenge me and test me and try me! Refine me with the hottest of flames! Though it be more difficult than anything I will ever experience, take me through it...to purify me, to cause growth in me, to strengthen me, to make more like You, to draw me closer in relationship to You, to know and understand Your heart better. I know that You will carry me through every circumstance that You place in my path. For You are a God who leads His people into difficult places...but You go with them. Just as You lead the Israelites to the edge of the Red Sea and seeming death only to have them walk through it with a wall of water on the left and the right. Just as You let Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendego enter into the fiery furnace only to endure the heat with them and bring them out entirely unscathed. And now pondering who You are is giving me that too big for the mind feeling again. I must simply be still and know that You are...God.

4 comments:

Sharilyn said...

Wow! What a neat post! Josh, it's so encouraging to see you have such a passionate flame in your heart burning for God! Keep pressing on as you continue to go deeper with Him :)

Anonymous said...

Josh: What can one say..... after reading such a private conversation of yours with your Heavenly Father, it just blows me away !!!!!
Those who are on that same Mountain Path can identify with your heart cry. Those who cannot, pray that they may come to that same place and have that burning passion for God that is aflame in your heart. Josh, the Lord continues to bless, encourage, convict and challenge me thru your blog.May He alone Bless you as much as He uses you to Bless me.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing this Josh. How often we try to avoid or escape difficulties, rather than embrace them as the very thing that opens our hearts and hands to our loving Father. As I read this, the one verse that immediately came to mind was,
"That I might know Him, and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings..."
The Lord is granting you the desires of your heart, and using you to encourage others to seek Him.

Love,
Mom

Andrea said...

Hey Josh! Thanks for sharing what's so near to your heart. It's really encouraging having such a godly big brother to look up to as the spiritually-mature person that you are. It's so true how God uses those difficult trials and stuggles to draw us back to Him. It reminds me of the song Blessed Be Your Name. When it talks about praises God through the good times and drawing near to Him in the bad times and really putting your trust in Him.
Today was one example of those examples. Jen and Leah had gone down to Flatbed Falls with Mrs. Peats while Erin and I cleaned the Detachment so we decided to join them when we had finished. Well Mrs. Peats, Erin and I were walking there - which only took about 7 or 8 minutes - when we came to a "stumbling block". To get down to the falls we had to go down an extremely steep path with lots of loose gravel. On the side above us were trees and on the side below us was a rocks, sharply sloping to the bottom of the falls a long, long way down. I was so scared and really praying hard. And I had to remind myself to trust in God fully and have faith that He will keep me save. Not just to say "Yeah, I trust You God" and stay at the top, but to put it into action. So Mrs. Peats, Erin and I went down slowly gripping tightly onto the roots of trees sticking out of the ground and anything we could hold onto. But we made it safely down, so I was thanking God for protecting us....but the real trial came when we had to get back up again. I was shaking and there were times where there were only a few smooth rocks to hold onto and I was praying "Lord, please help us to get to the top safely, please help me to have faith in You and trust You fully" Well, there were two times where it was so steep and I couldn't hold onto anything that I started slipping downwards and Leah above me who was holding onto a tree stretched out her hand and said "Here Andrea, take my hand, let me help you" I had to put my trust in Leah and have faith that she would not let go of me, and she didn't. It reminded me of the many times that we're in trouble and Christ is standing right there, stretching out His hand saying "Here, take My hand, let Me help you" And we can either choose to reject Him and do it ourselves, or to take hold of His mighty hand and never let go. So that was my adventure that really pushed me to trust in Jesus and to take His hand in times of trouble.
Anyways, thanks for sharing that Josh, give Mom, Dad and everyone a big hug from me and I'll see you on Wednesday.
Love,
Andrea